The Untitled Christmas Story
by Nessa Elendil
Summary: Baby Harry. At five months old, Harry's first Christmas the way he sees it.
1. The Spirit of Christmas

_**A/N: This is part of the Baby Harry collection. The others are Birthday? Hmm... Sounds Like Fun and The Baby's Coming!. The latter is a part of it because it gave me the idea to write Birthday?, and just like in Birthday? Harry's thoughts are italicized and in quotes. And please don't be negative about my "baby talk", you'll understand that more as you read. Also, this is written a bit differently than Birthday? because Harry is seven months younger in this story than in Birthday?.**_

_**I do need a title for this story, so if anyone has any suggestions, I'd be glad to hear them.**_

**-A Special Thanks-**_** to mizz92 for the idea of Harry's first Christmas!**_

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_Chapter 1_

It was the day of Christmas Eve in Harry Potter's home, of course, being only five months old, Harry didn't really understand what Christmas, or its "Eve" for that matter, was. There were different things around the house, like lights, shiny things, and other things that Harry reach, and a big, fuzzy, green tree, all of which seemed to go along with this "Christmas" thing, but that was pretty much the extent of Harry's Christmas knowledge.

Harry had been fascinated by the tree, especially when his mummy would lay with him underneath it. She had stopped doing that though when she saw Harry stuff a handful of needles down his diaper - much to his own discomfort - and try to stick a tiny lightbulb in his mouth.

Right then, Harry was in his room being held by his Uncle Pa-foo, and chewing (with his one tooth) on the arm (were two _really_ necessary?) of his favorite teddy bear, Blotchy, which was as big as Harry was. He felt Pa-foo hold him differently, and Harry came face-to-face with his daddy. He could see Pa-foo holding him from behind Daddy.

"Hello, Daddy," Pa-foo said in a high-pitched baby voice. "Will you puh-_lease_ dress up like Rudolph for my first Christmas? I'd love you just oh-so-much if you did."

Harry blinked. _'I talk like that?'_ Somehow he didn't think so. He tried to say 'I no think I sound like that', but it came out as "Me ohy thhie ounny had".

"See," Pa-foo proudly announced. "He's reinforcing what he just said."

_'Crazy people.'_

Daddy rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure he was," he told Pa-foo sarcastically. He held Harry, much the same way Pa-foo had, and looked Harry straight in the eye. In a serious voice, he asked, "Harry, you don't want to see Daddy dressed up like Rudolph and humiliated, do you?"

_'What's a "Rudolph"?'_

"Oh, James, you're going to dress up like Rudolph for him? Harry will love that!"

_'Well, Mummy says I'll love it... I want to see a "Rudolph".'_

"No, I don't think he would so much, Lils," Daddy said.

_'Daddy, no! Don't say that, Mummy's always right. She always says so.'_

Mummy put her hands on her hips. "Are you saying I don't know what my son would enjoy, James?"

Daddy's eyes bugged out like he had just realized what he had said. Harry gave him a look of sympathy; Daddy only looked like that when he realized he had, as the adults put it, "trapped himself".

"Well, um... uh, no?"

"So you're going to dress up like Rudolph because Harry will love that, aren't you honey?"

"Yes, dear."

"And you're going to enjoy it, aren't you honey?"

"Yes, dear," Daddy answered again, like the two words had been rehearsed. Then again, Harry had heard his daddy say them so often that he could never tell when he was practicing saying them or saying them for real. Mummy could though.

"That's right, James." Mummy kissed Daddy's cheek, and then Harry's. "Happy Christmas, sweetie," she said to Harry with a smile. To Daddy, she said, "You had better get working on that Rudolph outfit, it's Christmas Eve after all."

"Can't we compromise on this?" Daddy asked desperately.

Mummy raised an eyebrow.

"Get Dumbledore to come over dressed like Santa Claus, and I'll do it without complaining."

Mummy smiled. "All right then. I have to go check on the cookies, which you can_not_ have yet," she added to Pa-foo, whose ears perked up when he heard the word "cookie".

Mummy left and Daddy glared at Pa-foo.

"I don't know what you're so worked up about, Prongs," Pa-foo said calmly, "it's just a spell that does this:" He pulled out his wand - '_Yay! Magic!'_ Harry could never get enough of watching magic preformed - and waved it in front of Daddy's face.

Daddy's nose became red and shiny, like a lightbulb, and he looked at his reflection in a mirror.

Harry thought for a moment, observing Daddy's new nose. '_Mummy was right, I do love the flashy-light-nose, but if this is "Rudolph", I don't understand why everyone is so worked up over it...'_

Daddy sighed. "Sirius," he asked, obviously trying to keep his voice calm, "will you _kindly_ take this charm _off_ of my face?"

"Nah, it's a good look for you. Think of it as an early Christmas present."

"Well, in that case," Daddy said slyly. "In the spirit of Christmas and as an early Christmas present, I'm going to make you, in addition to my son's godfather, his Official Diaper Checker."

"Now, Prongs, I really don't think-"

"No, I insist. Check him for poop," Daddy ordered.

Harry felt himself being handed back to the arms of his goddaddy. _'Poop?'_ he thought. '_Oh yeah, I know what that is!'_ And he proudly proceeded to produce some.

"Oh, oh," Pa-foo cried.

"See ya later, Padfoot. Official Duty of the Official Diaper Checker is to also _change_ the diaper."

Pa-foo was left stuttering a "but- but" to an empty room, except for himself and the baby he was holding.

_'Well,'_ Harry thought, _'are you going to get around to changing me or not? This is getting pretty uncomfortable, you know.'_

"Ok," Pa-foo started, looking at Harry and realizing the situation he was now in. "Right, uh... Let's- let's just... get this over with."

Slowly, they started moving towards the changing table - _'About time.'_ - and Pa-foo put Harry down and removed his soiled diaper.

_'Oops.'_

"Prongs!" Pa-foo called desperately. "He's doing the fountain aga-- Oh, Merlin! Prongs! Help!"

The only response was the sound of the door locking from the outside.

"That's not funny-- oh - oh - help!"

_'Don't cry, Uncle Pa-foo, it's not that bad.'_ Harry looked at his goddaddy, who was crying as he changed the diaper and tried to save his nose. _'Poor Uncle Pa-foo. Maybe some more poop will help... He'll have to change the diaper again, and everyone loves to do that so much, they fight over it.'_

"PRONGS!"

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_**A/N: I'm trying to get it up to standard with the others, and hopefully it will be soon; so please don't base your entire opinion of this story on chapter one.**_


	2. The Candycane

_**A/N: The OC in this chapter is the same person in the other Baby Harry stories. She is Jasmine Black, Harry's godmother, Sirius's cousin and Andromeda's sister; she is a Marauder who's Animagus form is an all black fox; the other Marauders call her "Tips" for the white tip on her fox's tail, and Harry refers to her as "Aunt Ipy" (my sister came up with that name, because I've got nothing better…).**_

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Everyone who had been planning on spending Christmas Eve with the Potters had, by now, arrived. Harry found though, that he liked some (his Uncle Moo and Aunt Ipy) better than others (his Uncle Wormy). That was why he proceeded to cry – _loudly_ – when placed in Uncle Wormy's arms.

'_He shakes too much! He's going to drop me!'_ "WAAAHHHH!"

"Moo!" Harry exclaimed happily when Uncle Moo took him from Wormy.

"Hey, Harry," Uncle Moo greeted with a smile. "Are you having a good Christmas season so far?"

The beginning of Harry's answer ("Ga-boo") was interrupted though, when Daddy came running into the room.

"Moony! Thank Merlin, you've got to get this thing off my nose!"

'_It's rude to interrupt…'_ Harry thought, remembering his mother's words, even if he didn't know what half of them meant.

Taking one look at Daddy's face, Aunt Ipy doubled-over in laughter. "But it's so becoming!" she said with mock-flattery.

"Yeah, and that's why I didn't ask for _your_ help."

"Oh, James, leave it on. Harry likes it," Mummy pointed out.

"Lily, Harry would show interest in the cat's sh—poop if we didn't have charms to keep him away from the stuff."

Mummy raised an eyebrow.

"All right, I'll leave it on," Daddy said with a heavy sigh. He took Harry from Uncle Moo so he could take his son upstairs for his nap.

Uncle Pa-foo and Aunt Ipy followed close behind singing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer--!" even as Daddy told them repeatedly to "Shut it."

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Harry was sitting in his highchair in the dining room. His uncles Pa-foo and Wormy were the only other ones in the room. Mummy had decided to cook the Christmas turkey on Christmas Eve (since more friends/family had been invited over for Christmas Day) and had placed it on the dining room table – at the request of Pa-foo to see it – while she went back to the kitchen. Over her shoulder, she had shouted, "And if you even _think_ about touching that turkey, Sirius Black, I'll break _your_ wishbone!"

Whatever that 'turkey' thing was, it _did_ look rather intriguing to little Harry, and, as Pa-foo and Wormy were talking about something or other (Harry really hadn't been all that interested in their conversation), the baby managed to somehow –almost _magically_ – get out of his highchair and onto the table. Crawling over to the turkey, Harry did what came naturally to many infants, and sunk his near-toothless mouth into the bird's backside.

'_YUUUMMMM!!'_

Pa-foo let out a strangled cry when he saw what his godson had done, and promptly pulled the baby off the turkey's buttocks. A little bite mark where the baby tooth had made contact with the skin was clearly visible.

'_Why would Uncle Pa-foo do that?'_ Harry thought sadly. After all, Pa-foo had always been the one to spoil Harry rotten. Remembering a well-taught lesson of Pa-foo's, Harry's emerald eyes became big, round, and shiny with what the adults could only assume were tears. His bottom lip began to quiver as he looked up sadly at his goddaddy.

"Oh, no, Harry; it's alright. Here, um…" Thinking quickly (for Pa-foo hated upsetting his godson more than anything else), he ran into the living room with Harry, right next to the fuzzy, green tree. Carefully balancing Harry in one arm, Pa-foo grabbed a candycane off one of the branches and hastily opened it. "You can't have the turkey, but you should be able to have a candycane."

'_A candycane?'_ Harry thought it over. _'…Will it taste as yummy as that turkey thing?'_

Pa-foo carefully placed the candycane in Harry's mouth, and Harry back in his highchair.

'_This is even __**better **__than that turkey thing!!'_

Aunt Ipy came into the room to grab the turkey back for Mummy. She saw the striped candy hanging out of Harry's mouth. "Harry, no!" she said hurriedly and pulled the candycane away.

"What'd you do that for? He likes it!" Pa-foo told her.

"_You_ gave him this?!"

"Yeah," Pa-foo answered defensively. "And he was enjoying it too, until you came along."

"You can't give a candycane to a five month old!" she all but shouted at Pa-foo stupidity.

"Why not?"

Ipy promptly stuck the candycane up Pa-foo's nose. "_That's_ why not."

'_Is that what those candycane things are meant for? Hmm… I'll have to get another one and try that again…'_

Pa-foo yanked at the candycane in his nose. "You put a Permanent Sticking Charm on that, didn't you?!" he accused, pulling harder at the thoroughly jammed peppermint stick.

"Not a _permanent_ one," Ipy said with a smirk. "Of course, it might also just be baby spit sticking it to your nose hairs."

Pa-foo shot her a disgusted look. "PRONGS!" he yelled, hurrying into the kitchen.

Harry heard Daddy and Moo laugh loudly once Pa-foo had reached his destination.

"It won't come out!" Pa-foo told them, still trying to desperately yank the thing out of his face.

"That's meant to go in your mouth, you idiot!" Mummy could be heard screeching at him.

The next thing Harry heard was his goddaddy's broken cry as the candycane was, successfully, ripped out of his nose, taking quite a few nose hairs with it.

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_**A/N: Anyone else think this chapter needs to be redone? If enough people think so, I'll rewrite it; just wanted to get **_**something**_** up.**_


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